Facts and Figures of York Road Bars

It happens all the time. People come up to me and go,

"Hey Romoslice! Do you think you could do a post that would help younger students = incoming frosh to LUM, to get a better idea of the world around them!? Thanks man, love your hair. Oh, and I watched you in the Vida Chronicles! You totally stole the show!"

And here it is everyone. Here is an informative post on some interesting numbers about select York Road establishments that will give you and the friends that you will meet in the first semester a better understanding of where you all should hang out!



CRAIGS

Number of floors - 2

Inches of "water" in bathroom - 3.5

Personal space per person - 0.1 square inches

Ratio of slutty girls to classy - 5:1

Best smelling section - smoke porch

Number of nights you will be glad you went there (per 7 visits) - 0

Number of girls who go into guys bathroom per night - 10


MURPHY's

Number of bartenders you will recognize - 0

Number of seniors who walk in - 0

Percentage of under 21 crowd - 96% (usually other 4% is celebrating their 21st on that day)

Number of girls per night who steal a guys hat and wear it - 5

Number of those girls who think they are hilarious - 5

Number of those girls who are actually hilarious - 0


ZEN WEST

Windows along York Road side - 0

Number of hookups when dancefloor isn't open (on avg) - 0

Number of hookups when dancefloor is open (on avg) - 50

Avg line for bathroom on main floor - 8 people

Avg line for bathroom downstairs - 4 people

Line of vision on dancefloor - 2 feet

Number of other places on York Road where seniors enjoy - 0


SWALLOWS

Dimensions - 10' x 12'

Last Call time - 1:45am (latest on York!)

Number of people who would go there as their first choice - 2 (Brett, Klein)


JERRY's

Loyola popularity rating in 2008-09 - 95%

Loyola popularity rating currently - 5%

Number of bartenders who aren't dicks - 1

Number of packaged goods salesmen who aren't drunk - 0


York Club Tavern

(No data available; researcher was shot)