Saturday, October 22, 2011

NFL Handicapper Week 7


Falcons at Lions (-3.5)
Lost in the skirmish that was the coaches’ postgame handshake after the Lions’ last game was the fact that they did not look that good at all.  And I know I was going against him last week in my family fantasy league, but how do you not throw to Calvin Johnson EVERY TIME down by the goal line? And this is coming from someone who’s single least favorite play in all of football is the goal line fade.
Pick: Falcons

Bears at Buccaneers (PK)
London does not want to see these two teams play, come on NFL.  You know what would be more entertaining? If the Bucs actually used that ship they have to fire cannonballs while Devin Hester tried to maneuver his way across the field like Pac-Man without getting hit.  Maybe make the cannonballs water balloons or something so he doesn’t actually get injured.
Pick: Bears

Seahawks at Browns (-3.5)
I believe Charlie Whitehurst is going to get the start for the Seahawks in place of injured Tavaris Jackson.  This is good to hear, because now not only do we have the second coming of Jesus in one game at quarterback, but also a man who looks like Jesus in another.
Pick: Seahawks (and to win)

Broncos at Dolphins (-2.5)
The Dolphins, who are winless, have lost 11 of their last 12 at home, and are starting a backup quarterback, are favored in this game.  Normally I would say that this would be perfectly acceptable against my team, however, with all the Tebow returning to Florida hoopla, and the honoring the 2008 Florida Gators team, is there really any doubt that Tebow is going to lead the Broncos to a victory here? I just can’t see us losing this game. Sorry. Most confident I’ve been in a long time about the Broncos.
Pick: Broncos (and to win)
                       
Chargers at Jets (+1.5)
I like Rex Ryan.  I think he is a fascinating figure, a great defensive mind, and a surprisingly successful head coach thus far.  But did anyone else realize how stupid his comment was on Norv Turner?  Take away the part about that it could be true and think about it for a second.  He said that he would have a couple rings if he was their coach because those (the Chargers teams of 2007, 08, and 09) were stacked.  Well, that team of 09, that was stacked, lost to your team in the playoffs…so not only is it a shot at Norv Turner, in a way it’s a shot at the players on the Jets team of 2009, because they apparently weren’t as good as the stacked team in San Diego.  And, as most of those players are still on your team, you have also obtained two of those key pieces from the stacked San Diego teams in LaDainian Tomlinson and Antonio Cromartie.  What, then, do you say to them? “Hey man if the three of us were in San Diego right now we probably could have won a Super Bowl.” Which, again, could be taken as a shot to his current players.  The whole thing just doesn’t make sense to me, as I’m sure this explanation did not make sense to you.
Pick: Jets (and to win)

Texans at Titans (-3.5)
Yo what is with these 1:00 games?  This is the fourth straight game that is harder to pick without the line than with it.  Also, even though I think Houston is eventually going to win this division, can anyone else believe that with a win, Tennessee will have a 2 game lead in the division and a route to a home playoff game? Strange times, indeed.
Pick: Texans

Redskins at Panthers (-2.5)
What the hell, man? Cam Newton’s not supposed to be favored.  I’m supposed to bet on Cam to come within the spread, not cover it.  I like new things in life, but when it comes to football picking I like trends.  This pick worries me.
Pick: Panthers

Steelers at Cardinals (+3.5)
Three and a half? Really? (looks left) (looks right) (looks left again) Ok. I’ll bite.
Pick: Steelers

Chiefs at Raiders (-3.5)
So apparently Carson Palmer is not starting, which means we get the Chiefs versus Kyle Boller pay-per-view matchup that we have always wanted.  Also, can we all just laugh at the Raiders again for making this trade? It’s been awhile, I want to make sure it isn’t in bad taste to do so yet.  Ok good.
Pick: Chiefs

Rams at Cowboys (-12.5)
I saw a stat somewhere that the last however many Cowboys games have been decided by one score or less.  I think the actual stat was more accurate with their exact numbers, but who really goes to this blog for numbers…let alone, at all?
Pick: Rams

Packers at Vikings (+8.5)
I was going to write an article about how I think that Green Bay has a legitimate shot to go 16-0 this season (although Adam Schefter pretty much beat me to the punch…so I decided to scrap it).  In said ghost article, I talked about if they avoid let downs in a couple of select games, they have a real shot to do it. Note: This is not one of those games. 

I really only saw 3 games where I think GB could struggle.  The first was the game at San Diego, but the good news for them about this game is that it comes right after their bye week, so they have extra time to prepare (although so far this season, the bye week has not been kind to teams, which I think the football media is blaming on the new rules).  The other big road game was the Giants game on December 4th.  I obviously think the Packers are way better than the Giants, but it isn’t really the best matchup, plus the hype of that game is going to be ridiculous.  To me, the trap game on the Packers schedule is not the Turkey Bowl showdown that I was worried was going to be the best game of the season (which is routinely the game that goes on while my family is stuck in traffic trying to get to my aunt’s house, but usually doesn’t matter because either Brady or Manning is dropping 5 touchdowns on the Lions…this year it will be Rodgers… Hey everybody, let’s just put the best quarterback every year against the Lions at 12:30 and watch him carve up both the Lions’ D and Adam’s fantasy team like Uncle John is doing to the turkey, only except said QB is not hammered).  The trap game is the game before that; at home to the Tampa Bay Bucs.  Solid team, too young to realize that they shouldn’t have a chance, good at everything but not great at anything, enough of a pass rush to disrupt Rodgers, plus Green Bay may be thinking about Detroit 4 days later.  Just a thought.  

Anyway, I had a pretty solid article on it, but now it’s just stream of consciousness mumbo jumbo all over the place rambling.  You can thank Adam Schefter.

Pick: Packers

Colts at Saints (-13.5)
The Colts are on ANOTHER primetime game?  How long until flex scheduling?
Pick: Colts

Ravens at Jaguars (+7.5)
Ravens fans have to really like their chances this year.  Everyone in the AFC seems beatable, you may actually get that home playoff game this year (and maybe even a …bye week??) the defense is the best it has been in awhile, and Ray Rice is having his best season in the pros.  Plus, check out this for a schedule: at Jax, vs. Arizona, then the rematch at Pittsburgh,  plus four games against the Bengals and Browns, a Seattle game, the Colts most likely w/o Manning and only a matchup against brother Jim’s Niners and San Diego that could be potential losses.  Honest worst case scenario looks like 12-4, maybe 11-5. 
Pick: Ravens

Last week:
Spread: 8-5
Straight Up: 11-2
                                    
Overall:
Spread: 48-42
Straight Up: 62-28

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