30 Things I Can Do Without

I stumbled upon this article from ESPN columnist Gene Wojciechowski on the 50 things that sports can do without (highlights include “The Washington Nationals, Players with tattoos in Chinese, NBA refs who think we tuned in to watch them officiate”) http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=wojciechowski_gene&id=4221536&sportCat=mlb … I highly recommend you read if you’re in to sports… In the same vein, here are the 30 things that I can do without.


1. Chinese Food. It sucks. The end.

2. ‘Dance Flick’ ads. The more of them I see, the less likely I am to see that crappy movie. And believe me, the chances of me seeing it initially were already about as good as a three-legged horse winning the Kentucky Derby.

3. Betting on baseball. I’m done. I can’t believe how much it’s screwed me over this season. And I’ve only done it for a week. Case in point, Tuesday, I had 10 bucks (my last 10, as I wasted the previous 20 on the Mets as they had Santana going against the lowly Pirates. I must have forgotten that the Mets, um, suck…) on the Diamondbacks on the road with their ace Dan Haren against the Dodgers without star Russell Martin. Things were looking good when young star Justin Upton hit a grand slam off of Dodgers starter, Randy Wolf to make the lead 5-0. However, in the eighth, after Haren is taken out of the game, the Dbacks give up a bases-loaded double followed by a single, and the score turns to 6-5 Dodgers. 1-2-3 goes Arizona in the ninth, and my account is done.

4. Fall Out Boy.

5. Bands that wish they were Fall Out Boy. This means you, Panic at the Disco.

6. People having their best fantasy week against my team. I’ve already ranted about this too many times.

7. The 9 month wait between games of the NFL season.

8. The 9 month wait between LOST episodes.

9. Artists having terrible CD’s in 2009. Honestly, what happened to Eminem? Listen to 3AM, then listen to Lose Yourself. Yeah… And 21st Century Breakdown makes American Idiot look like Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. But the worst may be Black Eyed Peas. What once used to be a respectable alternative hip-hop group that actually had a respectable sound behind its flow, now has the “auto mute” in the background with Fergie throwing horrible lyrics in ‘Boom Boom Pow’ which is even worse than the the title is.

10. Joe Buck. “And the Phillies are one out away from winning the World Series. For the first time in um 28 years. Here’s the pitch. Strike 3. Hinske’s out. Ball game over. … Almost Rays. Maybe next year.”

11. T.O. telling me to get my popcorn ready. Honestly, T.O. my popcorn’s been ready for like 7 years now and nothing’s happened! It’s starting to get stale!

12. The money I could be saving with Geico.

13. Concert announcements that I’d love to go to but can’t due to work, money, location, school, or the economy.

14. Another Lady GaGa single.

15. Facebook changing its homepage again.

16. NASCAR. Just, in general.

17. Horrible course selection times. I’d love it if just once I could get all five courses that I pick out for a semester.

18. Mets fans complaining about injuries. First off, you know nothing about injuries unless you were a Denver Bronco fan and had to deal with 9 (9!!!) different starting running backs and an entire defense on the DL. Second, injuries are simply part of the game, and it’s a long season, and most of the injuries are short term anyway minus Delgado. Plus, Brett Myers seems to be done for a good part of the season and I’m sure both teams would say pitchers are more valuable than hitters at this time of the year.

19. Hispanic cooks that work their asses off at times when it’s not necessary to and then beg and weasel their way in to taking the early-out despite me being there longer for the day…

20. LPGA getting time on PTI.

21. LPGA getting time on my blog.

22. Phillies losing at every home game I go to. You’re 18-6 on the road, and 12-14 at home! What the hell!?!

23. Waking up with tremendous amounts of earwax in my right ear. Sorry, didn’t mean to turn you on, ladies… but it's annoying.

24. Bill Belichick’s hoodies.

25. ‘Land of the Lost’ commercials. See #2.

26. My dog licking my feet and toes. It makes me being barefoot a lot less fun around the house.

27. My internet spazzing out almost every hour.

28. People who drive slow in the left lane of the highway! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……

29. Forgetting the name of the person you hook up with the previous night. Jessica? Kelly? Sarah? Ugh. Oh what the hell. We’ll just call her Lauren.

30. My football team trading away their franchise quarterback. Needless to say, I am a little confused.